SkEleTon

2004-03-21T03:02:00.000-08:00

HELL O! ok this place has got spider webs everywhere...long time never clean up .. hee crap2..sori ar.. been lazy to update. okai.. this year.. common tests results sucked. failed bio...failed maths and amaths..eng..wad else..okai did i fail my ss too? hmm ferget cas.. i wanna haf fun as a student. eii guess wad..my cuzz went to this course ..sec course.. then they sae.. parents shud noe that as student..their child needs to study... so they shud not ask us to do household chores..all they shud do is.. study...haf some fun and rest..study.. and the cycle goes on.. no chores provided they study... walao.. if i tell this to my parents arrr... surely kena lecture..." ur head arr no need to do household chores." aiyoyoooone week is definitely not enuff to me.. some schools have got two weeks of holiday...its ok.. i shant be greedy...

im supposed to go to a bbq qith my cuzz yesterday.. sumhow...sumbody not happy ..think tat im going with boyfriends and everyhing...but anywaes.. i din go.. might as well i make her life easier rite..than to nag at me..bet she's tired of naggin..im tired of hearing too..my aunt juz shifted.. ( hehe ok thats irrelevant)

ok i met up with ayie... he sent me to my aunts place..it was kinda suckie but nvm.. and he sent me off when i wanted to go home.. yar tok2..joke2..dier suker nah jalan pat semak2 ..pavement ada tak nak jalan..uh uh uh .. tapi cute..eheheh..selesa ngan dier..i added a new friend to friendster...sumhow he is oredi my fren.. but i lagging.. i dun think u understood what i juz said.. hahahaha!okai okai.. havent been gettin enuff sleep.

yesterday talked on phone till 3 then at 3++ fariz called in. ok i layan..until 5.10 am! went to madrasah like...like...chucky #2 hahaz...lame..he tok bout alot of things.. then at last i forced him to go away cuz i wanna sleep and neither do i want to die early..khakha.. den he told me to drink lotsa coffins( caffeine) wadda ?!?!?! nvm.. give chance..im nice ..khakha..my hw is still not fully done.. still have lit and chem.. i hate chemistry.. i hate the teacher..( to any teachers in crescent out there reading.. all da best) teach with patience lah... wanna teach budden keep rolling eyes.. like wat sia..pple are learnin rite.. if we dunno ..tell lah.. cant expect us to noe everythin rite.. sumtimes the easiest and lamest thing we dunno oso wanna scold..we dunno means dunno then teach us lah.. heeyer. okai ive had enuff. cao

"u do teach.but wud u practice what u preech?"

2004-01-14T04:32:00.000-08:00

JengJengJeng! muahahaha! i have arrived.. too bad .. no one noticed.. khakha.. siao siao.. ok i got a poem for u

Tak ingin aku
bercinta lagi
kasih pertama hancur sudah
dia pergi dgn yg bernama starshea
aku dikecewa,ditinggal begitu sahaja
namun begitu tiba kasih kedua
suci murni tiada terduga
walau begitu ku lukai hatinya
tidak ku tahu mengapa.
kali ketiga seorang jejaka
segak tinggi, luarbiasa
ku bertindak tanpa fikir panjang
mengapakah diri ini kejam?
aku disakiti, lebih lagi menyakiti
luka ketiga tak mampu dibaluti
haruskah aku lari atau menitiskan airmata
siapakah kasih sebenarnya...
kini kutemui seorang jejaka
tiada pernah jumpa hanya tahu namanya
tertarik hatiku namun ku sengaja
menjauhkan diri kerna tak ingin melukai
tak ingin hancurkan hatimu, ku keliru
bila kau tiada aku sengsara
sayang...akanku simpan segala perasaan..........

amcam? khekhekeh
got one more budden later later lah hah.. ok ok..skools cool. met those peeps in mrt.. stil as hensem as eva! khakha!kk..maintain my happiness .. i have set aside and let out my angers so.. sotong .. khakha... siao siao... kk cao

2004-01-01T21:39:00.000-08:00

heylo! hehe long time no write! im happy now... are you? haiz.. 2003... the most challenging yr ever.. happy to leave it.. new year.. bla bla... i got over everything and everyone ! woooohooooh! congrats nadiah! move on! cao.. tmr skool ah

2003-12-23T00:41:00.000-08:00

I love you when i should hate you
I want you but i can not have you
I miss you when i'm not with you
I see you when i should not
I work but get no gain
I am weak but i feel not pain
I'm thankful for everything i've got
I have a heart that needs a mend
And nothing can help 'cept a true friend
So, i'll keep the memories well in mind
for they're the very best kind
Although I want to stay, I have to go away
I thought all my dreams would come true
& all of them were of you
And now they'll jsut fade away
But i know everything will be okay

-----------------------------------------------------

A True Friend Lends An ear To Hear
A True Friend Is There To Comfort And Care
A True Friend Has A Shoulder For Crying
And Is There For Your Sighing and Relighing
A True Friend's There Through Thick And Thin
They Know Your Outside And Your In
They Endure The Good And Bad
Laugh When Your Happy, Cry When You're Sad
Stick With You From A To Z
They Stay Til The End

Thanks For Being Such A Good Friend
------------------------------------------------------------
I don't really know what you are to me
or who and what I want to be
But one thing I know is: With you i want me
You have always been there
to take away the dispair
and show that you care
No matter the time
No matter the distance
It's never too high or hard to climb
You and me is 'We'
that's how it aways will be
we're always together
cuz on the other side of our star
there We are
From the early start,
you entered my heart
now we have a tie
that can not die
it will never sever
cuz we are friends
forever
--------------------------------------------
I need to not love you, but i do
I need to not need you
I need to get away
I need to forget the memories i love
I need to take back to hugs i gave
I need to stop loving the one i love
I need to be my own person
I need to be content with what i have
I need to stop looking behind
I need to stop reading the notes she wrote
I need to stop wishing the wishes i made
I need to stop calling the name i gave
I need to stop looking for her eyes
I need to stop waiting here
I need to stop hoping against all hope
I need to stop hurting myself like this
I need to stop opening this wound
I need to stop leaving only to return
I need to stop finding our star at night
I need to stop saying "i wish i would i wish i might"
I need to stop looking into the sky
I need to let go and watch you fly
I need to watch you float on by
I need to stop asking myself why
I need to untangle the knots i tied
I need to tell myself not to lie
I need to let this love die
I need to not cry
I need to let myself say "Good-Bye"
I need to not need you
I need to not love you

PoEmS i Got FroM SomE WebBie...
http://www.4degreez.com/poetry/13739/

...they are just for real...

Peace

2003-12-23T00:17:00.000-08:00

Ive got a secret but im keeping it to myself
im bored to tears
when my heart hears
that he loves someone else
ill tell him im sorry....

alright..im trying god damn hard to ferget suffian...in the first place... why am i into him?? why nadiah y??? hard to explain.. but ill move on..known him since sec one.. well... in sec 1.. we kept in contact.. but lost contact for like... half a year?? then ... miracle happened... were connected again...hen .. kept in contact... until one day... din contact fer .. almost a month.. but what i felt was... monthS...started chatting again.. he told me he misses me.. he felt that he din contact me for monthS when it was only one month... i was stunned... din noe he felt what i felt.. the next day.. went online again... he told me that he was happy that i was online... welll exactly what i was feeling... happy that HE was online... haiz...he is attached... i just broke up... dont want to ge in their way.. so i guess i better not mess ard...hes still my fren...u have my support...

This is a story
about a boy and a girl
The girl is me
and the boy is you
The sad part is it's all true
You were the boy
rare as a pearl
i was the girl
and you were my joy
but now you're gone
and i knew it all along
my heart was crushed
into dust
there is a hole
Clear through my soul
my pain won't go away
it's there day after day
we said "Good-bye"
and i started to cry
i went to fight
a great big knight
but found a boy
whom i once loved
there was no war
no lion's roar
but at great cost
i still lost
the love of my life

(He's still my friend
but that's the sad end)

~by Rye ( changed it here and there..) thnx rye fer this grt poem..

2003-12-19T23:44:00.000-08:00

today... someone was very hyper during dikir...saiful... it breaKS my heart that i had to hancurkan his happiness fer that day.. but i just had to...hafta let it go.. han to hurt him ...and myself ...longer... bukan ku tak mahu mencintaimu.. menyayangimu seumur hidupku.. tapi semua ini hanya menambah kan kepalsuan ku padamu..brrr... the confusion hasnt stopped.. i noe i hurt him deeply... dan... bukan maksudku.. bukan ingin ku.. melukaimu..sedarkah kau di sini ku pun terluka...brrr!!! what happened.. k.. dikir .. i was acting happy.. letting out all anger through laughter..den the end of dikir... threw the letter behind him.. he read it.. then hafiza told amalina his reaction .. lin told dianah.. dianah wanted to tell me but i covered my ears... until one time... forced to listen...the reaction was... he read the letter and his happiness was destroyed... no mood fer dikir...i moved on with life...no regrets..

Peace...

2003-12-16T23:33:00.000-08:00

tadi ader dk prac.. din wanna go actually tapi gi jugak.. kita tiga tiga step abes sak.. abeh dah bingit .. nak buat apa.. sampai sana ..hasmu nampak kita muka bingit.. dier pun eksyen ah muka bingit..cant stand him..sabar punya sabar.. sampai bila? dier bawak muka bingit boleh..apa org ni invisible ke? org lain takder perasaan ke?? den dier eksyen macho ah.. tapi aku stare sikit jer .. tak berani nak pandang balik..den dier kata muka budak budak back row( my row) mcm sial..ader ke? ok tu takper.. kita sabar.. the more i stared.. sampaikan dier nak ngok my face pun kene hide behind salleh and peep..kecut ah mamat.. nak kata eh.. depan hasyimah sikit pey baik. belakang.. mcm setan.. ahh syimah pun sama ah. i dun care if anyone read this.the most bullshit and most full of crap rubbish couple...them ah..i have no trust at all NOT AT ALL for hasyimah and hasmu. hmph! ( tolonglah..).. den went on with dk .. makin bingit ah.. den hasmu balik.. dier kata kalau kita tak nak dk.. balik sua... soalnya... siapa yg taknak?? kita ke dier??? yg dier nak balik tu asal?? yg dier balik pun bawak syimah asal?? syimah.. ur stupid man... i noe ur not innocent...part muka kau blur eh.. tu yg aku hot.. step blur uh.. puhlease.. dah gitu gini.. si kentot tu dah balik... kita ckp ngan salleh bout the probs.. y we bingit.. den..dah nak balik.. pat interchange.. sik din tu telifon dianah.. asking fer me.. he asked.." tadi napa?" den i saed.. " asal ngan tadi?" den he saed " gangster habes sial.. takut sey aku.." den i sae.." eh pasal ah.." den i kept quiet.. cant stand it anymore.. hearing his voice soooooooooooooooo goodness graciously happy..i just ended the call...went home... apa seyy.. macam nak .. nak.. ntah lah..merana...tapi biarlah..

Peace.

"why live life from dream to dream? and dread the day ...when dreaming...it hurts..anyone hear me?"

2003-12-15T02:43:00.000-08:00

Aku Cinta Kau dan Dia

Hancur hatiku mengenang dikau
Menjadi keping-keping setelah kau pergi
Tinggalkan kasih sayang
Yang pernah singgah antara kita
Masihkah ada sayang itu

Memang salahku, yang tak pernah bisa
Meninggalkan dirinya 'tuk bersama kamu
Walau 'tuk t'rus bersama
'kan ada hati yang 'kan terluka
Dan ku tahu kau tak mau

Sekali lagi maafkanlah
Karena aku cinta kau dan dia
Maafkanlah ku tak bisa
Tinggalkan dirinya

Mungkin tak mungkin 'tuk terus bersama
Jalani semua cinta yang tlah dijalani
Tapi bila itu yang
Kau pikir yang terbaik untukmu
Bahagiaku untuk dirimu

Simpan sisa sisa cerita cinta berdua
Walau tak tersisa cerita cinta berdua
Still love her in my mind
Still love her forever

nice song..

2003-12-15T02:13:00.000-08:00

Just came back from chalet.. sheesh..had total fun.. well forgot bout my probs at least fer two days.. khekhe.. at first we were sooooo bored.. we invited some pple.. only one turned up.. azam.. hish! ok me and dianah had to go with him so we go lah.. den boring nyer boring.. pergi playground.. its in pasir ris park anywaes if u wanna noe.. hehe..sampai playground.. i wanted to play the swing.. dah dapat tempat abeh ader lah budak kecik ni gave me a sharp stare.. hehe ape lagi.. give in ah.. den i was like" weii!! let me play ah!!" talking to those on the swings but looking else where as if im not talking to them.. haha.. lame.. then played with the " flying fox." so paiseh.. cannot tahan.. hafta ask azam to turn back so that he wont see me stupidly trying to get up the seat.. khakha.. shud have seen me.. so toot..pas tu gi main ngan benda pusing pusing.. macam spaceship.. they bullied me.. dianah and azam.. i sat there and they turn and turn the ship non stop.. almost cried.. (actually i did) khakahkah..
i wanted retribituion.. so i asked azam first to sit ..haha evil.. den i started turning it.. guess wad happened? khahka.. i forgot to let some space fer his feet to like u noe.. spin.. den i accidentally slapped his face.. force was too great that he fell and i fell too.. khakha..tak tahan ketawa sampai nak pi toilet.. gi toilet .. keluar.. azam ngah main ngan bola hijau tu.. uh uh uh.. den we ran to the swing.. dapat jugak at last.. main nyer main.. nyanyi nyer nyanyi.. hujan.. terpaksa jalan balik.. makin lebat lak tu. habes basah kuyup..main air ah apa lagi.. khekhe.. sampai chalet.. menggigil.. abeh tu bbq.. ah malas ah nak citer sal tu.. den after that.. azam dah balik...kita gi cheers.. beli SUSU.. yumm yumm.. den sampai chalet.. kita on lagu kuat kuat.. be it tamil .. malay or eng songs.. asal bleh kentot.. kentot jer ah.. khekhe.. joget macam nak rak!!!
den dah kul.. 12 went fer night walk.. me sampai tempat rock tu jer rasa lain.. den ajak dianah gi duduk tempat lain.. yg BERLAMPU..hehe .. kecut apa nak buat..dah tu got one chinese guy.. look down all the time.. haha macam lah kita ni hantu malam.. den hasyimahs mader called .. urgent matter.. want to talk to her.. den kita nak gi toilet .. patah balik.. terpaksa duduk pat rock tu jugak.. den ada bunyi macam org pekik.. bila org suma dah calm.. there were ripples on the waves... weird.. dianah cuba sedaya upaya untuk menenang kan kita.. last last i got so freaked out.. i left.. with dianah..jalan lah balik dua org ni.. abeh sampai satu bridge.. terdengar suara perempuan humming a song.. nak lari .. tapi tak jadi.. hm... sampai chalet.. we told nivedha and vani.. and waited like shit fer hasyimah and naseemah.. and there they were.. still smiling... walao eh!...dah tu .. eksyen tak nak tido.. last last terlelap at six am.... khakha..k .. tu jer.. next day balik ah! berapa lama u expect us to be there?? hehe.. cao

peace..
" one sided love last longer than two sided love.. true??hmm..."

2003-12-13T02:23:00.000-08:00

haiz.. tak tau apa lagi nak buat.. ive made up my mind.. i cant live with him.. talking bout saifuldin..feel so confused..above all things.. i .. i.. arh!can never describe my feelings sumtimes..just wish to let go.. been crying fer days.. thinking bout it...having saiful with me... doesnt stop me frm thinking bout .. sumone..just that sumone..no he doesnt know..y am i thinking bout him? how stupid.. can he be thinking of me.? hu noes he might not be thinking of u nadiah...haiz... suffian.. guess ill just keep it to myself... dun wanna spoil his relationship..frens...forever...ill move on as if ive not known u...how i wish ud noe how much i care...

To think that I kept it low..
so as not to let you know…
that I love you so…
for I know one day u’ll have to go.

“ distant makes the heart grow fonder”
sometimes I would ponder,
and somehow I found it true..
for that’s how I feel about u

my wish may not come true..
for I have a phobia
of making dear ones dearer.
a Spear has poked me through

peace..

"God gave u one heart.. another for u to find."

2003-12-08T01:51:00.000-08:00

went jalan raya..with amalina's madrasah frens.. at last i saw farihin face to face.. the one amalina has been talking about.. the one hu was said to be irritating.. indeed he IS.. fooh.. ok went with my cousin.. macam biasa.. gitu gitu jer..dah ah..malas nak tyoe lagi.. cao.

Peace
" if u cant cope.. S-L-E-E-P"heheh...

2003-11-15T13:40:00.000-08:00

had a dream.. scary seh.. pasal saihah .. gee that was the name that sumone shouted in my dream.. well.. she was struggling to let go of sumone's hand..looking at me..blank stare...i just stepped back.. as if i dun wanna get in their way.. that night.. i couldnt take it so i told suffian bout it.. indeed dier kata yg my description is how she really is.. lagi me takut sey.. kalau lah apa apa jadi ngan diorang duer?? me serba salah.. cuz i was the one hu got that dream.. i noe i still have feelings fer him.. but.. i dun wan his happiness to be shattered..rite? ok lah.. gotta go.. cao

peace

"the greatest thing ull ever learn.. is just to love .. and be love.. in return"

2003-11-06T16:21:00.000-08:00

pasti.. aku kan tetap menanti..cay jiwang seyy.. have this best guy fren named suffian..swiss cottage sec. hmm...lost contact with him.. dunno how long oso.. but seems quite long .. long enuff to hurt.. dah der gerl.. happy fer him.hope he doesnt go back to smoking..at least all i noe he did stop.haiz.. wonder how he iis doing..chop! stop it nadiah..arh.. lemme just ferget it.. cao

peace
" hancur hatiku.. mengenang dikau.. menjadi keping keping.. setelah engkau pergi.."
" still love him.. in my heart.. still love him.. forever.."

2003-11-01T11:31:00.000-08:00

wee wee wee. had fun yesterday at suntec city.. trying to sell what ourschool has to offer.. whoa.. tough tough.finally, i told my parents that i lost my handphone. phew! no scoldings. my mum even said" u can take mine when ive upgraded my phone.." man.. couldnt believe that.totally bored today. sunday..i wanna go geylang but haiz.. urgh. wad am i do to ?? cant wait for the chalet in december.. which is like a looooong way to go. kheekhee. ok la im living up to my blog name. skeleton. gonna rot here till bones show.

"A pretty face is not a passprt. its a visa and it runs out fast"

Peace

2003-10-31T03:23:00.000-08:00

Haiz..A tremendously sad day for me here. i mean like hello??? first thing in the morning, i lost my hp in a taxi.. which i didnt even realise until school ended! next thing is that my placement form was left at home and someone put in the choices that i dont really want..the thing is.. the form is already with the g.o.. what more.. my dear friend here expects me to tell something about a private and confidential case.. when it is suppossed to be strictly confidential!!! urgh. wad a life. i dont know whether to go to hell or heaven. kwa kwa kwa. crap la.today last day of school. woohoo! haha. ok .. that was the only great thing that took place.now.. im sitting in front of the screen.. typing.. mourning away.. haha no la.. couldnt be bothered actually.. choosing between physics and bio was tough enough. gee.. i'll strive .. but still have fun..never confuse movement with progress. yeah ..kwa kwa kwa..hmph.. goodness gracious.. thats all..

" beauty lies skin deep- ok thats deep enough- what do you want?- an adorable pancreas?"

Peace